Once upon a time, there was a girl named Misery, and boy, was she addicted to being miserable. She would wake up in the morning and immediately start looking for things to be miserable about. If she didn't find anything, she would create something.

One day, Misery's friend, Happiness, came over to visit. Happiness was always happy, and she couldn't understand why Misery was so miserable all the time.

"Why are you so miserable?" Happiness asked. "You have everything you could ever want."

"I know," Misery said. "But that's the problem. I have everything I could ever want, and it's not enough. I need to be miserable."

"But why?" Happiness asked. "Being miserable is no fun."

"It's not fun," Misery said. "But it's familiar. I know how to be miserable. I'm good at it."

Happiness sighed. "I don't understand," she said. "But I'm here for you if you ever want to talk."

"Thanks," Misery said. "But I don't think there's anything you can do."

Happiness left, and Misery went back to being miserable. She sat on her couch and watched TV, and every time she saw something happy, she would change the channel.

After a while, Misery started to feel tired. She went to bed, and she had a dream. In her dream, she was happy. She was laughing and smiling, and she was surrounded by friends.

When Misery woke up, she felt different. She didn't feel like being miserable anymore. She got out of bed and went to the window. The sun was shining, and the birds were singing.

Misery smiled. She realized that she didn't need to be miserable. She could choose to be happy.

And so she did. Misery started to focus on the positive things in her life. She started to appreciate the little things, like a warm cup of coffee or a beautiful sunset.

And slowly but surely, Misery started to feel happier. She was still herself, but she was a happier version of herself.

One day, Happiness came over to visit again. She was surprised to see Misery so happy.

"What happened?" Happiness asked. "You're not miserable anymore."

"I know," Misery said. "I realized that I didn't need to be miserable. I could choose to be happy."

Happiness smiled. "I'm so glad," she said. "I've always wanted you to be happy."

Misery and Happiness hugged, and they both knew that they would be friends forever.

Wouldn't it be swell if this is how things went? The problem with it is, every time Misery became the slightest bit happy, something came along and ruined it, thus making her miserable again. Time and time again of being let down and disappointed tends to take it's toll. 

Misery was tired. She sat surrounded by all the things that didn't make her happy, and started to give up. It was exhausting day in and day out just existing because killing oneself is 'selfish'. No Linda, you blatantly disregarding my wishes to die like I'm not even standing here talking is selfish. Of course it's selfish. People are allowed to be selfish. Especially people like myself who have bent over backwards for half the world, just to be taken from over and over and over. Nowhere is it written that you CAN'T be selfish, it's just frowned upon. 

This story started out as a tongue-in-cheek way of telling a story about someone I love dearly, but can't stand how she acts. There's always got to be something wrong with her. She's figured out that's a way to get attention immediately. There's a lot about her that I'm noticing that I didn't before. Sometimes, I feel like I don't even know her at all. Living with a person will do that to you 9/10. Doesn't matter how well you think you know someone.

Anywho, back on track ... She's got to be miserable. Or upset. Or angry about a made-up scenario in her head. I 100% believe that she has Othello Syndrome. Every time I say a new mental health disorder, she's got it. She's like, hypochondriac elevated. She's a whole disorder. I sit and watch her drive herself crazy every day over the same stupid bullshit with her on again, off again, not very boyfriendy, boyfriend. 

I wonder if she's really that stupid or if her chickens have flown the batshit coop. No one could possibly continue to believe the loads of horseshit she's been fed for almost 4 years. She wants so badly for him to change and want to be with her and treat her like he should. For almost 4 years. I just don't think he's that into you. (Edit - I have successfully named 3 types of animal shit in this story, that's how fed up I was with this insanity at this point.) I've given up on even listening to her anymore. I refuse to let this be the event that finally makes me snap and sends me to a seaside manor 😷 I will have a lot more fun if I get to choose my time and place, thank you.

It's getting to the point where it's unbearable. I have to separate myself from the environment quite a bit as of late. I told her a few months back that I was afraid we'd lose her this time when he breaks her heart, again. And he has. But she clings on for god knows what reason.

Misery is a little girl that lives in all of us, we just get the choice as to how we present her to the world. I was Misery for a lot of my life, then I chose to try my hardest to not be anymore. It's hard as hell sometimes, but you just have to stop and be grateful for what you do have. It's not always gonna be that room of stuff you bought to try and be happy. Because even that stuff disappears.